A Perspective on Empathy

Shop owners sweep the sidewalks outside their stores each morning as professionals rush to their offices and students go to class. I walk by a million people a day on my way to work. These people are strangers to me – many of them I will never know or see again. Though we are all nameless faces in a crowd to somebody; each of us carry a story and purpose that encourage us to rise each morning. Often the only thing keeping us from being happy is the belief that we are alone even when we are sitting in a crowded room. I believe the world is made better with empathy. RYLA taught me to see the common good in people and in that way the world becomes a little smaller and I am never alone.

I first came to RYLA in the summer of 2012. The academic year had just finished at York High School and with less than a week of vacation, I found myself driving to Raymond, ME with my dad. My guidance counselor had explained to me and the other students going to RYLA what we could expect during that week in June. Regardless, with every mile we came closer to Camp Hinds and further away from my family’s house, the question loomed larger: had I made a mistake in going to RYLA?

I look back now on that morning and am glad I said “Goodbye” to my dad. My nerves soon vanished as I made myself vulnerable and listened to friends I made only hours before. These people were both strange and familiar to me. The more I learned about them, the more there was to discover. I realized very quickly that four days would never be enough time to know the people sitting across from me, and even with more time, I may never know their full story. However, I understood that their lives were as complicated as mine, that they cared deeply about the people in their lives, and that they longed to be understood.

Each year I go back to RYLA I am delighted by how quickly new friendships are formed, and by the stories shared comfortably with strangers who quickly become confidants. There is something deeply satisfying about making a friend you know you may never see again. Your time together is short, yet they demonstrate the depth and limit of what can be learned from a person. We are similar in more ways than we know but time often prevents us from knowing to what extent. The world became a little smaller when I placed myself in the shoes of another camper and took a moment to see life from their eyes. I will never entirely understand what drives the shop owner to sweep the sidewalk outside her store, or what makes a man travel an hour to go to work each morning. Nonetheless, I can understand that these individuals lead lives different and similar to my own. I may never know them, but I can appreciate their life and rest assured that their story is just as important as my own – I just haven’t heard it yet.

This journey began at RYLA, around campfires, picnic tables, and new friends. Hundreds of bonds have been forged since I first visited Raymond, ME. Though many of these relationships last only a few days at Camp Hinds, we are made better by knowing there are stories behind every person we see on the street or at the grocery stores. We are never alone when we are able to see life through the eyes of a stranger.

Christian O’Connor is from York, Maine. He attended RYLA in June of 2012 and graduated from York High School in 2014. He attended college at the University of Pennsylvania, graduating in the spring of 2018. He now works and resides in New York City where he dreams of pine trees and summers at the beach.